is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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