think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
