No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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