Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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