if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
