well you can't waste a boner
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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