You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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