I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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