before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
