So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
