my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
