so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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