don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Found your dick twin last night
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
