It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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