Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
