Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
