who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
