It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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