if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
