i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My penis needs a shock collar
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
