Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
