I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
