At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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