Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
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There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
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Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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