Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
