I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
