You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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