I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize