I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
My pussy is not your playground.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
