What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
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