I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
