Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
