I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
