Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize