All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Even my vagina gasped.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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