I just made out with a guy for $7.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
