what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
