Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
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I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
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i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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