Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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