i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
NoShamevember. You game?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
