I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
