4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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