You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
