this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
