Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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