i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
