Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Did we literally take a cab across the street
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
