I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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