i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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