you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
