Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize