she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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