mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
And my parents said I crawled through the house
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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