You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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