Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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