porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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