We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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