I'd wear matching sweaters with you
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
