Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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