Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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