im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
