He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
