Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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