shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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